I had quit piano about 4 years ago. and haven't seen my piano teacher since.
recently, my little sister started learning from her again. but i never got the chance to say hi.
So i went yesterday with a little bouquet for her for christmas, and also, as thanks i guess.
though 4 years may not seem long in words, but in reality, it was quite the gap.
it was quite emotional and i wasn't expecting that. I didn't realize until then how close we were and how much we had together.
She watched me grow up and has been with me throughout the years since i was 6 years old. Although i left her for two years to study with a Chinese teacher, i came back to her and started my official piano education in terms of examinations. It was with her and at that time we began our journey through the piano requirement levels, year by year, half year by half year, while seeing each other week by week every thursday at 4PM.
she told me how i was really special to her, and a brilliant student in piano. how she, after 4 years, did not forget the song i played which gave her goosebumps. and how she never had another student like me and that i was the best.
y'know those things that you dont say to each other while you're going through it, or you don't really emphasize it while you're in the present. but when that time has become the past and you sit down and reminisce, you mention it and the significance and the thoughts of each other at that time.
and thats when you realize how dear it is. She was like my mother - my mother of music, who knew me inside and out. She said that i was a perfectionist of every detail. because i cared so much to not care. because i was so sensitive. it was then that i almost broke down because she knew so much about me just through music and i realized how much we held of each other. I am not one to speak about myself and for her to know that, it really touched me. my mother then mentioned that even now, I would sometimes play the piano and she said of course, because it has become ingrained in my life - music and the piano. and like my mother said, it was because she had such an influence over me.
because of what she had said, of how much ... love, respect, and endearment she had for me, it really made me want to work harder. become a better person; just because of what she said.
thinking back now haha, really we shared so much in our one hour per week lessons. after school, i'd be so tired i'd be half asleep in her lessons. she would then give me mint chocolate to try to wake me up. and then there were times i'd get so irritated at her for correcting me so many times (when the fault was obviously mine haha). there were also times where she would show me how the piece was played. i'd scoot over on the piano seat and she would move in and start her magic. those times were we had ear tests and i'd sit facing the window, staring at the snow filled landscapes and red trailer-trucks driving by, while struggling to learn what she was playing for me so i can play it back by ear. how i completely sucked and she'd try to help me by playing the melody louder, and then giving me the hint to the first note haha. oh and the neighbour's cat that would always come and sleep on her couch and she'd tell us how it hates men by likes girls. i even remember that embarrassing time where my dad sang the Red River song that i played when she still taught at the music school. LOL oh maan.
and ya.. y'know those little things.
it was really nice seeing her again. i didn't expect i would get this sorta ... enlightment ahaha.
its nice, being able to really reminiscence about things. it gives you a new sense of direction instead of being so aimless in life. it also made me feel that to have gotten to this point today, i didn't just stumble over and end up here but, i was lead here, and walked a distinct path that made up who i am. that i had a purpose. and that i have a purpose.
I am really thankful to her. she was the one who gave me the only hope that i have in my life - music. its the one thing that no matter what: how i am beaten down, no matter how many things have been taken away, no matter how much and what i lose, music is the one thing that i would always have by my side
God please give her happiness and keep her safe and healthy.
In the name of Jesus our Lord, I pray
Amen
-Friend - Chingu (친구) : T.O.P & TaeYang (태양) Big Bang (빅뱅)
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